As loving parents, it is natural to focus on progress when your child is at home or in therapy. Whether it is helping them say more words, try new foods, or use a communication device, we all love seeing growth – and it is important that we do. But before any of those wonderful milestones take shape, there is something powerful that sets the stage for communication and learning: connection. At the core of every meaningful step forward lies one essential element – your child’s sense of connection when communicating with the people guiding them.

Why Connection Matters for Communication (and All Learning!)

At its heart, communication is about relationships. For a child to truly engage – whether they are trying a new sound, exploring a new texture, or simply making eye contact – they first need to feel:

• Seen
• Understood
• Valued

Children learn best when they are free, comfortable, and supported to explore at their own pace (with a gentle push when needed), alongside an adult who is genuinely connected to them. When we slow down and really tune into how they are feeling, something beautiful happens: their nervous system relaxes, their confidence grows, and learning and communication naturally follow in a way that is unique to each child.

This means that creating an environment of safety and trust, where your child wants to connect, is a top priority. It also means staying tuned into the many ways each child communicates.

And here is the key: connection does not always come through words. For many children, the first way they show us how they feel is through their behaviour. Understanding behaviour as communication helps us stay connected even when words are not yet available, or when a child struggles to use them in the moment.

Behaviour is Communication

One of the most important things we can remember as parents and caregivers is that all behaviour is communication.

So, if your child turns away, cries, giggles at the ‘wrong time’, or refuses an activity -they are not being ‘difficult’. They could be telling us:

• “This is too much for me.”
• “I need a break.”
• “I feel unsure or overwhelmed.”

When we shift from asking, “How do I get them to stop?” to “What are they trying to tell me?”, we open the door to empathy and understanding – which builds trust. Trust then leads to productive and successful communication. Staying receptive to the unique ways your child communicates is key, and absolutely possible with the right guidance.

Parenting, Caregiving and Therapy with Presence

To truly support a child’s development, in addition to the strategies and techniques available to us, we need presence: a constant awareness that a child is a soul to be held with care.

When we view each moment with a child as a chance to build connection – as a precursor to compliance rather than compliance being our main goal – we begin to understand that our role is not to ‘control’ their behaviours but to nurture their inner world.

Engagement then becomes becomes a space of emotional attunement, where we bring curiosity instead of control, softness instead of stress, and stillness instead of rushing – key conditions for successful communication and learning.

Sometimes, the greatest thing we can offer with our carefully chosen prompts and cues is a pause. Not an immediate correction, but compassion: allowing the child to simply be. That, in itself, is powerful communications for us to notice and model. With this approach, we are also supporting the development of essential foundational language skills such as listening, awareness, waiting before responding, and taking turns.

How Connection Supports Therapy Goals

You might wonder: if we focus too much on connection, won’t progress slow down?

In fact, it is the opposite.
Connection acceletares progress.

Here is how:

• Speech and Language: Children use more words when they feel celebrated rather than pressured. They attempt new sounds more readily when not only accuracy but also effort is acknowledged and praised.
• Feeding: Children explore new textures more willingly when they feel safe, in control, and respected by a present adult.
• AAC (augmentative and alternative communication): Children engage more meaningfully when we focus on what they want to say with a tool suited for their unique needs, not just how they say it.

Putting it into Practice Across all Environments

Below are five ways to integrate a connection-centred approach into our interactions:

1. Pause before prompting
   Before asking your child to “try again,” offer a moment of connection – eye contact, a smile, or simply breathing together.
2. Validate before redirecting
   Say, “I see this is hard,” before encouraging them to try again.
3. Stay curious, not corrective
   Ask yourself, “What is my child trying to tell me?” instead of “How do I get them to stop?”
4. Respond to the emotion, not just the behaviour
   Look beyond the action to the feeling behind it. A child ‘acting out’ might actually be reaching out.
5. Be consistently kind, even when boundaries are needed
   Connection does not mean permissiveness – it means staying connected even when you say “no.”

The Takeaway

Alongside the many helpful techniques we use to build communication skills, the greatest tool we have is presence – our deep sense of connection. Children grow in the spaces where they are understood. They develop and engage best when they feel emotionally safe and are met with patience and compassion.

When we prioritise connection as the foundation of progress, we do not just teach our children how to communicate – we show them that they are worth being heard.

Caring for our little ones is not easy and can often feel overwhelming. But your love, your consistency, your quiet efforts to engage and truly hear your child – all of it matters. Even on tough days, your presence is doing more than you realise.

So, while we practise strategies and tools, we also let connection be the spark that fuels communication. You are doing better than you think – and that bond you are building is already creating incredible change. With presence comes progress!

Sources:

• Van Witteloostuijn, M., Haggiyannes, A., de Bree, E., & Blom, E. (2025). Parental input and its relationship with language outcomes in children with (suspected) developmental language disorder: A systematic review. Journal of Speech, Language, and Hearing Research, 68(4), 1982–2005.
• Rothman, A. (2021). Developing a Model of Islamic Psychology and Psychotherapy: Islamic Theology and Contemporary Understandings of Psychology. Routledge.